Recently I have self diagnosed myself with a new disease, or more likely a syndrome. The eventual diagnosis has taken a considerable amount of time, but I am hoping through the discovery of it I can make my way down the road to recovery.
I call it the 'grass is always greener syndrome' and most of the symptoms include drastically comparing oneself to every other person you come across, whoever they are, and arriving at the conclusion that their life is always sunnier than yours.
It is extremely frustrating as I feel like I am constantly driving myself into a state of self pity and disappointment by analysing every detail of my life, however small and creating a zone of misfortune around it. I have really perfected the flipping of something positive into its negative counterpart.
Now don't get me wrong, I am not discussing this in order to lament on how awful and unfulfilled my life is, I am extremely grateful for the good things that I have in it, but I am always constantly aware of the slight niggle I have at the back of my mind whispering to me it should be better, like everyone elses seems.
For example, that woman I see walking down the street is currently in her perfect job that fits in beautifully with her perfect partner who regularly enjoy trips to the countryside together alongside their two retrievers, probably called something adorable like Bill and Ben.
Okay, this is an extreme example that is currently making me want to vomit, but you get my drift. I know the entire notion of it is ridiculous, but it's so difficult to break the cycle.
Why does everything you don't have look so much better than what you do?
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